A Mesa d'O Meu Quarto

She said goodbye once again, as she closed the door behind her, and left for good. He did not move from where he was standing, neither did he say a word. He could feel her smell on his books, see her smile on the small mirror by the door and hear her voice singing by the kitchen table, but in the end all that there was, were mere memories of what had been. He had tried to speak, as she was walking for the door, just as he had tried when she said goodbye for the first time, but for all the words that he could think of, none were going to change her mind, and he knew that; and most importantly, she knew that too...

I really need to stop. Stop and rest for a minute... Actually, what I really need is to stop for a minute, sit down for another, and spend another one enjoying a fresh cold beer, and then, finally, rest. Rest before my mind goes out of control. Going down the street and into Kerrytown, just by the Market, I know this cozy bar, with a refreshing shaded patio: "Its just what I need!", my mind screams. So, I head that way, and while I do so, I feel myself melting down, just as the sun, up on the blue sky, shines with such strength that all around me a huge wave of sweat seems to be arousing, and all around me people are starting to melt, slowly, one by one, and I that dislike those freezing winter days, for once, wish that I was an ice cube, sliding down this body, that urgently needs solidification. "This is just my mind having this strange thoughts", I say as I try to keep my pace, and reach that cozy bar, down by the Market, before being defeated by this amazing ba...

And just like a whisper, that silently makes its way trough the air, before disappearing, and getting forever lost, in time and space, love started to fade away. Slowly, it faded away, until there was no reason or meaning to keep on going. No reason or meaning trying to fight for something that had been lost a long ago. Something that had been lost, even before, they knew. Both had imagined that love was on their side, for the first time in their lives. But, in fact, love had been lost. Love had had its fate crossed long ago. Love was no longer. And, just a fake sense of love, kept them going. Together, but alone. Both kept it walking. Both kept it going. Still, both travelled just a step back, way behind, just in case they had to runaway. Runaway from love. Runaway from themselves. Runaway from love, just in time, not to get struck  by it. Just in time not to get hurt by the lack of it…

Human Life, or What We Call Human Evolution, Keeps Taking More and More Control of The World. Wars, Killings, Murders, Robbers, Disasters, Accidents and So On, Keep Destroying and Taking Away The REAL Meaning Of Life... Nations, Countries, Different Cultures, Whole Different People Out There, What For?? Politicians, Cops, Gangs, Military, Rebels and On, and On? Why Are WE So Greedy People? Why Do We Always Want To Give a Step Forward in the WRONG Direction? What Is All This For, If We Are Going To Leave Sooner Or Later, And Give Way To A lot More Generations Still To Come?! Why Should We Leave It Worse, When We Are Supposed To Come Here, Live Our Life, Know People, Have Fun, Study and Invent, Trip Around The World, And Share Our Love, Our Thoughts, Our Knowledge and Our Dreams, In Other Words Living Life as If It Was A Story Book. Not Just Any Story Book, But Our Own Story Book, A Special Story Book, Where Our Days Go On and On, Page After Page, Day After Day, On As It G...

Sunny Day, Rainy Day When You Come, When You Go, There Will Always Be, Someone Sad, Someone Happy. But Sunny Day, My Lovely, Beautiful Day, Won't You Come and Stay! Oh, Rainy Day, I Would Sadly Ask You to Come Another Day... Lisbon on a Rainy Day, Winter 2000

"If the words I wrote where meant to change something around this society, then I guess, I would have wrote them the other way around"

I Wish I Was... Someone who could just for once, make the right decision about love. Who could once understand what is to love Who could once Show all his love and give all his love to someone he really loved. I wish I was just myself... Santarém, 2004